It’s no secret that I work really hard to get my bills paid as frugally as possible and to provide what my family needs while still having fun money and money set aside for emergencies and investing. That being said, it’s still often difficult to use the money that I set aside as fun money instead of using that money to invest in my family‘s future. All this to say, I had a huge reality check this week.
I decided about a month ago that my kids and I desperately need to get out of the house and just spend some time together. As much as I would love to take advantage of the fact that I have a cozy home, I know that as long as we are confined to our house, we are not going to make each other 100% a priority as we all have our routines, mine which generally do not = fun or relaxing. Between being a single mom in a relationship, working full-time in a stressful job, having kids that have been doing remote learning and a young adult daughter who’s working 50 hours a week plus going to school full-time, family time is at a very minimum. Trying to have times where we are all available is incredibly scarce anymore. So when I asked for time off over spring break, I sent in the request with a prayer and both fingers & toes crossed that things would work out. When I got approved for the time off, I was super excited but quickly that excitement balloon was deflated when I went looking for remote beaches and found that they either weren’t in my price range, weren’t remote enough for my Covid comfort, or were so far away that we just could not invest that time in the traveling.
I had to switch gears from the beach to either a lake or the woods. My search began and I was so excited when a friend reminded me that Airbnb has the search options that I could open up the US map and zero in on areas that I wanted to have checked using my specific criteria. I admit that the criteria that I typically chose is bare bones: somewhere to lay my head, use the bathroom without sharing with others, without bugs. Not crazy complicated and generally at the lower end on the price scale.
But if I’m being honest, I work hard, I don’t splurge a whole lot, and I desperately need some time away. Some R&R to restore my connection with my kids and to feed my heart what it has been lacking as I’ve endured 2020. I figured what the heck, what’s it gonna hurt to search for what I really want outside of the overpopulated Spring Break beach front that I had already eliminated.
I opened up the Airbnb app and centered my search over the 12 hour radius from my Midwest home and became picky knowing I could narrow down my selections if nothing came up.
✅hot tub
✅fire pit
✅two or more bathrooms
✅4 beds that aren’t couches or air mattresses
✅kitchen
✅a nice view, remote-ish
✅ $0-$200 a night
I really don’t even care if there is a grocery store or restaurants nearby as long as I’m able to have a kitchen to cook in. (Most people would poo poo the thought of cooking on vacation, but I have plans of taking my InstantPot and prepping meals in advance as well as taking some prepared snacks. I don’t mind cooking when I actually have people there to enjoy it and I’m not rushed trying to figure out what I’m going to make… I digress 😂) Either way, I searched using those criteria throughout the entire middle of the US. It was so exciting to look through all of the different housing options that actually came up with the selections I made on a wish and a prayer! I was able to look at the photos and read the descriptions with my dreams in mind. My dreams that include board games, sitting on the couch watching movies and playing electronic games with my kids like Among Us and Jackbox, cooking in an open concept kitchen where I could play and dance and sing with my kids, and then spending some time outside at the firepit but also being able to go out and relax our muscles in a hot tub. Oh, and again this was all at my request of under $200 a night pre-fees. I narrowed my search down to 6 properties but most were in locations that we had visited before and I was really looking for somewhere unique we have never been, preferably further South being that it will still be mid March.
Then I clicked on property SEVEN! I glanced at only a few pics and clicked on the ❤️ to add it to my list and I knew immediately that that was going to be the one that I was going to book. The photos and the description sold me, met every request (& those I didn’t think to search like fresh eggs from their chickens 🐓), the price was right, but despite the price being right, with Airbnb you still have to contend with multiple fees and those fees are normally quite a bit more considerable than what you pay for hotels. When I looked at the fees, my heart stopped. I realized I was going to end up paying approximately $80 extra a night to accommodate those fees. I literally sat there and felt like the dream of taking my kids on this week away was sliding through my fingers like sand. Plunged very quickly from the mountains to the valley below. I felt the anxiety rising within me as it often does when I see unexpected bills appear in the mail or an appliance breaks at the most inappropriate moment.
Perspective is an amazing beast, though! I went from having defeated tears in my eyes to laughing at myself within a few seconds. This isn’t defeat, it’s just a minor mental setback. I realized in that moment that this is exactly why I have a vacation fund, this is my why in life… My kids and having downtime and being able to have fun and relax and fulfill my dreams is exactly why I have these extra funds, why I work, why I wake up in the morning and even why I breathe. Why am I allowing my visceral, gut response to something I want so much I can taste it to be overpowered by my gut response because I have to spend a little more money than I planned? I realized then and there that so much of life is spent making money. If there’s no point in WHY I’m making the money and no point in spending it on the things that I have saved for and have dreamed of, I need to sit, reevaluate my life, and possibly have my head examined.
Having had that realization has made me all the more passionate for this trip and for the trips that I will plan in the future. Yes, I draw the line at a certain price and yes, I need to be practical at where I choose to spend my money, but if I’m just making money to add it to the next index fund or the next bucket of money that I’m saving for emergencies, I could very well be missing out on the things that will bring me joy today or next week or miss the opportunities to bless somebody because I’m so busy hoarding my money for things I may never realize or get to experience. So I have decided that no matter how I may have to constantly reevaluate my headspace and revisit my way frequently, I am going to put my ‘why’ above my discomfort of periodically spending money on fun even when it may be a bit more than what I planned on spending. My kids are my reason, my everything and if I can’t spend a little bit of funds within my savings for us to reconnect, I need to reevaluate the reasons that I work & budget and the reasons that I’m so passionate about being wise with my money in the first place!
I can’t wait to sit down with my kids in the next day or two and share with them my dreams of our spring break this year. I want their buy-in as well as their feedback on what they want to accomplish on this week away, and I can’t wait to hear what they have to say! 💛